anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Randomize
