OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
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