we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
