why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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