Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
