Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
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