so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
