I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
