Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
