1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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