I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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