i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
