Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
