yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
