I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
