Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
