I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize