i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
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