my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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