I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
