she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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