3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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