He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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