I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
is wine microwaveable?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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