The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
