I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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