TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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