I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
