At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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