I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
