i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
