It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
