this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
