She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
