why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Randomize
