Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
