i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
