I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
