i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
