I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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