Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
