fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize