I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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