do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
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