And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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