this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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