About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
