roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize