I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
