he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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