My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
