We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
