I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
