Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
