"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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