I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
