At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
My penis needs a shock collar
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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